The Wrestle with Onionweed

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, you sure are in for a treat tonight. To our left, we have our reigning champion, Onionweed. And stepping up to challenge him, our newest contender, the Mighty Gardener. Who will take home the champion’s belt and gain control over the garden?

Onionweed is a tough competitor. Look at how he circles the Mighty Gardener, jeering at him. We can only hope, for the Mighty Gardener’s sake that he knows his opponent well. Hidden beneath the ground, Onionweed’s core is a white bulb. From there, he sprouts his thin, strappy green leaves and a long stem with flowers budding at the top. In summer and autumn, seeds form and will spread quickly and easily in the wind. The Mighty Gardener will need to have some tricks up his sleeve for this challenge.

Oh, and the Mighty Gardener dives straight in for it. He pulls Onionweed straight from the ground. Rookie move; the tiny bulblets from Onionweed’s roots have ripped right off and are growing into new plants. The Mighty Gardener’s job has just quadrupled. Luckily, he learns quickly. He has pulled a spade from his tools and is digging out one of the newly sprouted Onionweeds. Careful not to let any soil fall back, he chucks the weed and clumps of surrounding soil from the ring. But as he turns back for the rest, the remaining Onionweeds have flowered and are developing seeds. Onionweed’s signature move, the Mighty Gardener will need to act fast.

Is he? Yes, I believe he is mowing them down. Ingenious move; by preventing it to release its seeds, they can’t spread. And by cutting off the leaves, the Onionweed can’t gather energy to store in its bulbs. The Mighty Gardener has successfully bought himself some time. But it’s not over yet, Onionweed is growing back.

Facing each other, they both seem to be preparing for the next move. This is going to be close. The Mighty Gardener whips out a weed wand and a non-selective herbicide. He will need precision to avoid the surrounding lawn or he will kill more than he bargained for. He quickly targets the leaves but Onionweed is still smiling. The herbicide is sliding straight off its waxy leaves. After all of this, could the Mighty Gardener be defeated? Will a weed get the better of him?

But what is that in his hand? The Mighty Gardener seems to be holding a detergent of sorts. He’s applying it before the herbicide. There’s nothing Onionweed can do now. It shrivels and is down for the count.

The Mighty Gardener is our new champion. It was a tough match, but he held up hope. No one, not even Onionweed, can come between him and his beloved lawn.